that’s all I’ve got! comic coming soon.

By “we” I mean Caldwell, and by “did it” I mean “Caldwell did it.” All taken together, that means Caldwell Caldwell did it. That would be redundant to anyone who hasn’t seen how much work he puts into the strips; repeating his name twice is the least of the glory he deserves.

In current news, I’m still upset with “the man” for having constrained the 4th of July to a mere 24-hour period of government sanctioned explosions and mayhem. Considering that Christmas has 12 days of official celebration (though only one hour of one morning really matters), is it too unreasonable to extend the firework season to a fortnight, or at least a week? The economy would prosper; firework makers would make money, hospitals would make money, beer vendors would make money, etc. No one loses in this scenario, except a few tightfisted bosses who don’t want to give anyone more time off than they already get and perhaps the few hundred teenagers who blow their fingers off (which in turn gives the artificial limb industry more business! Everyone prospers!). We should be glad that those kids don’t have their fingers, anyways, because they’re the same kind of idiots who stumble through YouTube and 4chan posting “lol” or “wat” repeatedly. They’re a waste of electrons.

Write your elected representative. Lets make the next 4th last until at least the 14th!

I have a lot to say, but it seems I’ve already said it! You can read all that and more at my new BLOG.

bookmarks good man! bookmarks!

~Caldwell

You know, I’d would’ve liked to make this series into a complete comic book; there’s a lot of story lost in the 4-panel weekly format that we could elaborate upon if given more room. Of course, that would take a super long time, and Caldwell just wouldn’t stand for it. Perhaps someday you’ll see a QLC #1 on the comic book racks, but don’t get your hopes up.

Speaking of getting one’s hopes up, the Supreme Court is quite likely going to hand down their ruling on Heller vs. DC, the second 2nd-Amendment case they’ve touched. Libertarians will rejoice (if all goes well). Yay.
In other news, “The Happening” still massively sucks.

—edit—
CNN is just now reporting that George Carlin has passed away.

Suddenly, comedy has lost a legendary figure as influential and provocative as Lenny Bruce, who was indeed a source of Carlin’s passion. Our hearts are with the family and friends of this epic contributor to the science of humor, lewdness, and indecency, who paved the way for novices such as ourselves on the QLC staff to be able to scribble obscenities and (potentially) offensive witticisms without reproach or fear of reprisal. He broadened the scope of criticism for the sake of humor, and will forever be known for his contributions to the art of perversity. He was a pioneer.

Alright, I’m off to listen to Bowie’s “Life on Mars?” a few dozen times. Perhaps that’ll level me out.

Wake up, America. They’re not our friends.

Now, something completely different: The Happening. M Night Sham (it’s an appropriate abbreviation) teams up with Shooter McGavin Wahlbergh to make the shittiest movie since, well, The Lady in the Water. That doesn’t bode well for the Oscars. This movie sets a new standard for a complete failure to understand the basics of biology, as well as natural selection / evolution in general. If I could be one of the reviewers who put the blurbs on the DVD cover, I’d like mine to say,

“Please, give me brain damage. Hard.”
-Clark Shell, QLC

There’s only one way to remove this experience from my memory, and it involves a bottle of cheap vodka, a willing friend, a crowbar, and a band-aid or two. If that wasn’t blunt enough, let me make this perfectly clear.

DON’T SEE IT. THE BOREDOM WILL KILL YOU.

oh yeah, and before I forget… Happy Father’s Day!

Be sure to celebrate by heading over to Turner’s Dad Shack and picking up a brand-new, limited-warranty Dad! Turn in that old junky model for something more “with the times,” no down payment required! Time’s a wastin’, y’all, so head on down and get yourself a pep pep to be proud of! They don’t call me Honest Turner for a reason, so just do it, ok?

If you’re unsatisfied with the quality of the father you receive, call the 1-800 number stenciled into the father’s neck. Limited terms and conditions apply. Void if Quality Seal is broken. Do not feed after midnight.